If you are reading this, it is because you are either curious about a phenomenon that you have been lucky enough to experience or you’re a student at PSU—either way, you’re in the right place.
For decades, society has conditioned us to believe that squirting is an experience exclusive to females. Around 40%—or less—of women are anointed with the title of “squirter.” Obviously, this division of women is separated and glorified to divide the community and further the patriarchal agenda. But what the patriarchy doesn’t want you to know is that men can squirt too.
That’s right. The same institutions that have attempted to gaslight you into believing in male superiority are back at it again. You may remember them from their argument that every fetus starts as female in the womb, but males are “promoted.” These are the same people who claim superiority because it’s harder to make them cry (can’t relate). They also convinced you that an Adam Driver can pull a Scarlett Johansson. But I’m here to intervene.
Now, I know you’re wondering what I mean when I say men can squirt. Moreover, I know your top concern is why this has been hidden from you for so long. I—along with the single study on male squirting (mSQ), based on one man—have answers for you.
Researchers have thrown millions of dollars into the study of female squirting, but men have been left in the dark with exactly one official case study. A single, courageous participant. A lone hero, brave enough to squirt in the name of science and society. A modern Prometheus of post-ejaculatory fluid release.
This news has not been publicized or widely researched because male chauvinism is afraid that it will divide men and weaken the carefully curated illusion of masculine simplicity. They’re afraid of being split into two competitive divisions. But enough is enough.
For far too long, Big Science has let us believe that male pleasure is a single event. That once we finish, we’re left with nothing but existential dread and dirty socks—but we now have proof that there’s a realm beyond our current knowledge.
We’re all familiar with the soggy ejaculation that results when you need to pee—a watered-down, less viscous substance—but this is a separate event entirely. Male squirting is a post-ejaculatory release of fluid, distinct from semen. It’s clearer and thinner, containing a small amount of urine, and it often happens involuntarily after prolonged stimulation or pelvic contractions. The fluid is secreted from the prostate and urethral glands—a biological process that is incredibly similar to the mechanics of female squirting.
No sperm. No standard ejaculatory properties. Just a hidden and suppressed bodily function that the society refuses to acknowledge.
The most shocking part? According to the one and only recorded scientific study: it’s not just a fluid, it’s a mist. The subject of the study—let’s call him Patient Zero—demonstrated this post-orgasmic experience by spraying this translucent mist for 60 seconds.
This was measured and scientifically documented using Color Doppler Ultrasonography, a medical imaging technique. A probe was inserted into Patient Zero’s rectum to capture real-time imaging of his prostate while he squirted, allowing researchers to directly observe the fluid expulsion from deep within.
Now imagine what would happen if men knew that their pleasure was multi-tiered, that their bodies were capable of acting as a spray bottle and that squirting was not a privilege exclusively granted to the female species. If we knew sooner, we might have established a civilization on Uranus by now, or we might have a 13th Greek god. Either way, the patriarchy is finally crumbling and we’re on a path toward equality and growth.
For centuries, we’ve known women’s pleasure to be enigmatic and complex like a 7×7 rubik’s cube. Meanwhile, male sexuality has been reduced to a predictable, linear release—maybe a 2×2 rubik’s cube, or 1×1—but now we know the truth: we’re not so different.
The evidence is there, yet the world remains silent.
We know you’re out there—hiding in the shadows, eating pineapple. It’s time to claim your birthright with pride.
The first step is acknowledging the truth. The second is stepping into the light. The third? Well, that’s up to you.
