Where and how to date at PSU
Getting a date at Portland State should be easy for men since women outnumber them substantially. Yet even the loneliest of women has too much pride to let her friends see her out with a total nerd, so dating is by no means automatic.
Two of the worst places to search for a date are where you and your potential love live, as in student housing, or where you both work. There is nothing more depressing than having to meet, face to face and day upon day, the ruins of a shattered romance.
For one type of dating success, let’s confess that after a few alcoholic drinks, the women look better to the men and, naturally, the men look better to the women. Don’t neglect informal student parties. After a few drinks in a collegiate atmosphere, some women feel friendlier.
There are two reliable strategies for finding a date. First, hang out where there are substantial numbers of women. Second, go where these women find themselves anchored in place.
In classes, for example, your potential target is stuck in the same room with you for 10 weeks. If she works in an office or a fixed location, such as a cafeteria line, she is forced to stay put while you can drop in and out.
There is another potential that sounds more crass than it is. Hire her. That doesn’t mean she’s for sale in the sex trade. It means she offers a professional service you can afford. Perhaps she tutors Spanish or math, or teaches yoga.
To earn her fee, she has to put up with you, which gives you an opportunity to get acquainted. If you’re paying for her time, she’s a sitting duck, but you don’t take potshots, you float powder puffs her way.
Classmates require a different strategy. Sit reasonably near but not obviously close. Answer a question in class so she can pick up on your personality.
At what may be an appropriate time, let her know you’re interested by catching her eye. Even if she seems to be facing off to the side, she’ll intercept your stare. If she turns away in disdain and thereafter looks away every time you meet, you’re dead. If her eyes hold their ground, consider her a potential.
Under no circumstances do you stare at her cleavage. Don’t stare at her butt, either, except when she’s walking way. She’ll know you’re staring at her retreating form (women have eyes in the backs of their heads), but she can pretend she doesn’t know and that gives you a pass.
If she’s somewhat interested, she will create opportunities. She may take a bathroom break during the class. Give her a couple of minutes, then you take one. If fate is on your side, you meet face to face in the hall. Smile, say hello or make any kind of inane remark.
Most women feel insulted by pickup lines. The best pickup line is to extend your hand, in a handshake, and say, “Hello, I’m Alphonse,” or whoever. If a handshake isn’t appropriate, try a “hi.” She will know how to respond.
There are some trick openings that have been known to work. One of these is the stooge, or Tom, Dick and Harriet pickup. Tom wants to date Harriet but has been unable to get acquainted. He enlists Dick as his stooge. The two prowl where they might run into Harriet. When Harriet appears, Dick says, “My friend, Tom here, would like to take you to lunch. What do you say?” Whatever the outcome, everybody’s pride is preserved.
For a first date, you will have the best success if it has a natural termination time, like a coffee break or lunch. Ask her questions about herself. If she asks about you, answer truthfully but modestly. Don’t brag about what a big shot you are at Chinese chess.
All women, even the most beautiful, are insecure. They die for compliments. When they hear a compliment, their inner voice will warn “flattery” but they’ll still love it. Avoid gross anatomical comments, such as “You have great boobs” unless, possibly, you’re trying to date a stripper.
It is women who call the tune and they can be totally realistic about dating.
One gorgeous female in a writing class declared matter-of-factly, “If men would listen more and talk less, they’d get laid more often.”
That didn’t mean she was ready to take on anyone in the class. She was stating an opinion. Which led naturally to the dater’s basic philosophy: You can’t win ’em all.
