Whether you’re seeking a long-term partner, friend with benefits or booty call, dating and hookup apps have permanently changed the way Americans date. There’s an app for every sexual orientation on the spectrum—even dating sites and apps for asexual people.
How can you be successful when each app comes with its own rules and expectations? Here are some basic guidelines that make sliding into those DMs more successful and fun.
Honesty is the Best User Policy
Be upfront about what brings you to the app. There’s no need to write a Buzzfeed-length listicle of expectations, but don’t say you’re looking to hook up when you want a relationship, or vice versa. You and the other person are just going to find trouble if you’re not honest.
Showcase Your Best Reality
This is an extension of the honesty policy and applies to your photos. Use a recent photo, but something that showcases you in an environment that’s both natural and true to you. Unless you’re Lady Gaga, there’s no need to post photos of yourself hiking if you’re not into hiking.
You Are Entitled to Nothing
Don’t wind up canceled like Kevin Spacey, et al. I know that person on the app is super hot, super interesting, super whatever. It’s a different experience, getting a lot of messages vs. getting few messages, or being the primary sender or primary receiver. The point is, if someone doesn’t get back to you immediately, it’s okay. They don’t owe you a response; and likewise, if someone is messaging you and you’re not comfortable, you don’t owe them any kind of response. Nobody likes getting harassed in their DMs.
Get Tested!
If you have more than one regular sex partner, you should be getting tested for STI’s every three to six months, even if you use safe sex practices. Facilities like Planned Parenthood, Prism Health Center, Portland State’s Student Health and Counseling or your primary care physician can help.
The right person is going to come your way. Whether you download them or find them the IRL, you just have to let them come to you. Happy swiping, woofing or whatever you’re into these days.