Friday’s Haiku Horoscope

Haiku is an ancient form of Japanese poetry. Traditional haiku are five syllables in the first line, seven in the second and five in the last. Ms. Luna prefers to make her divinations through haiku and means no disrespect to the art of haiku. She would also like you to know that these horoscopes are for entertainment purposes only.

Aries
March 21-April 20Listen to U2It will soothe your stressed out soul.Bono is a god.

Taurus
April 21-May 20Street preachers make noiseGood thing the Park Blocks are long.Seek your peace elsewhere.

Gemini
May 21-June 21Already behind?Time to crack those spendy books.Put down that keg cup!

Cancer
June 22-July 22Advice to freshmenNo need to get all dressed upIt’s just PSU.

Leo
July 23-August 22The rainy seasonIs right around the cornerDon’t lose umbrellas!

Virgo
August 23-September 22Don’t use fake IDAt the Tortoise or Ione.Bouncers are not dumb.

Libra
September 23-October 23Cold going around.Wash hands after the bathroomAnd drink lots of juice.

Scorpio
October 24-November 21Spend some time outsideLeaves still green and sun is out.It will not last long.

Sagittarius
November22-December 21He is not calling?Take a hint and forget him.Bar boys bad idea.

Capricorn
December 22-January 20Campus orgs are fun.Find the one just right for you.Take your mind off class.

Aquarius
January 21-February 19Time to save money.College is so expensive.Better yet, drink beer.

Pisces
February 20-March 20Last Pabst factoryClosed. College tradition dies.A sad day for us.