Have yourself a very queer-y valentine’s

There’s something poetic about being queer and alone on Valentine’s Day: a mixture of melancholy and pure chance that come together to make sure you’re sitting on your hands all day waiting for love, a working or out-of-town spouse or just a need to get out and do something.

But that’s enough of that! There are plenty of events on or around Valentine’s Day for you to enjoy.

Who’s a good pet? YOU ARE: Pet and Handler (PAH) organization t is holding the last stop of their NW Tour right here in Portland on Valentine’s Day weekend! Come bark, wag, mosh and bark some more with all the other pets and handlers at a variety of events from a bar meet and greet to a panel on disability in the pet community. 

When: Feb. 14–15. 

Location: Varies. 

Age: 21+ for social and mosh. 

Facebook pages: @nwpahorg / @pdxpah

Let’s get Steam-y: Steam Portland opened 17 years ago, so this Valentine’s Day weekend it’s going to be a big blowout! Come get wet in the hot tub, watch some hot go-go dancers and get some swag while you fuck. No membership? No problem! Memberships are half off for this special event! 

When: Feb. 14. 

Location: 2885 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland. 

Age: 18+ 

Note: Steam Portland requires an M or Male marker on identification cards

Temporary Lesbian Bar: There are many stereotypes about queer women, but the only one that’s true is their love of getting there early and leaving before the rush. In that respect, Feb. 13’s Temporary Lesbian Bar at Mississippi Pizza is a great way for women of all identities and presentations to cut loose and get home before the big Valentine’s Day rush. 

Location: 3552 N Mississippi, Portland. 

Age: 18+ before 9 p.m., 21+ after.

Let’s get horn-y: Beaux Banks is one of those names that if you know you know. Starring in such films as Dirty Doctor, The DILF Diaries and more, Banks will be bringing his copious talents and sense of rhythm to Stag PDX for this year’s Valentine’s Gay Party. Will there be nudity? You can bank on it. 

Location: 317 NW Broadway, Portland. 

Age: 21+

Fuckbois galore: Drag kings get their time to shine at Kelly’s Olympian on Valentine’s Day at The Haus Phenomenon’s Heart Breakers show. Come watch excellence in action as Apollo Indigo leads a troupe of kings in celebrating all those flirty dirty men in our lives. 

When: Feb. 13, 8 p.m.

Location: 426 SW Washington, Portland. 

Age: 21+

Drag me, Poison Waters: Portland Legend Poison Waters serenades, schmoozes and celebrates Valentine’s Day at this year’s Valentine’s Day Doesn’t Have to be a Drag event at Hi-Lo Hotel. The free champagne will be chilled, but the tea will be hot! 

When: Feb. 14, 4:45–7 p.m. 

Location: 320 SW Harvey Milk, Portland. 

Age: 21+