Holiday season depression can suddenly strike, often for no apparent reason. Yet there are techniques to avoid or at least soften those end-of-year blues.
Susan Captein, a therapist at Counseling and Psychological Services, has some anti-depression advice that may seem surprising. She reminds us that any of us may suffer from rising debt, expanding waistlines and broken New Year’s resolutions.
“It is the holiday season that the experienced view with ambivalent expectations,” she says.
Captein has a three-five rule. This applies especially to trips to visit relatives for the holidays. Don’t stay longer than five days, she says, or you will be sucked into the vortex of unwanted family roles.
“At the stroke of midnight on the fifth day,” she says, “You will be transformed into a pre-teen and begin arguing with your aging parents about your right to party.”
If you must stay longer than five days, she advises, break the visit up with side trips that give everyone a break. On the other hand, don’t cut your visit to two days. Your hosts will suspect you are trying to give them the slip.
“Then you will be hounded the whole time you are there by overt or covert attempts to figure out why you are trying to get away from them,” she said. She advises if you must stay fewer than three days, you tell everyone in advance and have a good reason handy.
Her second piece of advice is to do less. You are not obligated to decorate the house or make fruitcake for the whole universe. Decide what you really enjoy and stick to that. Don’t worry about being labeled self-centered.
“If you are truly self-centered, all your friends know about it already,” she says.
In contrast, Captein advises doing more, but that means doing more of the things that make you feel good about the holidays. Some of these could include being kind to people, both your neighbors and people who may not look like your neighbors. Being thankful for the good things you have. Telling people you love that you love them.
“Eschew the dissatisfaction that consumerism thrives on,” is her final advice. “Do less with more heart. It is cold out for so many this time of year, be warm.”
The Dec. 1 issue of Parade Magazine stated a study by Visa USA attributes much of holiday stress to financial worries. Parade offers some advice by Ginita Wall, a financial expert.
Use only one credit card to keep track of total spending. Plan purchases then get in and out of the store without the browsing that leads to impulse buying. Don’t exceed 1.5 percent of your annual gross income over the holidays. Don’t feel you need to buy costly presents to keep up with everybody else.
Wall suggests that cleaning the house for an elderly parent can be a cherished holiday gift.
People who suffer the “holiday blues” generally report similar depressions that can cover a long list of anxieties. They may feel inadequate they can’t afford to buy the presents they would like to give. At the same time, they may feel sad about the commercialization of the season. They may feel lonely, especially if they are far from home. They may recall unhappy memories from past holiday seasons.
It helps, the experts say, to do as Captein suggests and be content with your limitations. That includes not only what you can spend for gifts, but your available energy and ability to withstand stress.
Alcohol may seem a great anti-stress remedy, and there is often plenty of it available in the holiday season, but immoderate drinking can contribute substantially to depression.
One problem with living in Portland is the condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder. On purpose, no doubt, the acronym is SAD. This can appear almost automatically with less exposure to sunlight. The days are shorter, the skies drearier. In recent years, there has been an upsurge in the availability of artificial light sources that help make up for this shortage of sunlight.
Some people resort to tanning beds, but dermatologists sound persistent warnings that tanning beds, like overexposure to sunlight, can lead to skin cancer.
There are some time-tested methods that have been found to work for any type of depression. One is to try something new. Take snowboarding lessons. Go roller-skating at Oaks Park. If you’re into gym workouts, keep it up. Even if you’re traveling and staying in a hotel, first-rate hotels have workout rooms. Physical activity of any kind produces endorphins that chemically help the body to stabilize. Too much Internet surfing may only deepen the feeling of being lonely.
Based on averages, it may be better not to make New Year’s Resolutions at all. Experience shows they’re almost never kept. All that remains is the guilty feeling about having fallen short of expectations.
It the depression gets really unhinging, it may be time to consult Counseling and Psychological Services, in Room M343 of Smith Memorial Student Union, if you take enough credit hours to make you eligible. Their number is 503-725-4423.