September 23-October 22
Always be who you are, for that is enough. Trying to be “cooler” or “with it” may inadvertently cause a breakdown in the universe and you wouldn’t want to be responsible for that, would you?
October 23-November 21
Please remember that whatever your economic status, there is always someone worse off and better placed than you. Kindness is more important than wealth.
November 22-December 21
If you become lost this week, avoid that creepy-looking house your car breaks down in front of. They won’t have a telephone, and they never will.
December 22-January 19
Don’t judge the person who collects certain items. Just be honored that they are sharing that collection with you, because it’s a glimpse into their inner heart.
January 20-February 18
Guilt is a powerful force in the universe. You can spend so much time reminiscing about failure that you can forget the very moment you are living in.
February 20-March 19
The world cannot exist without rules and that can be tough for you to handle sometimes. But rules are important to keep the universe in order.
March 21-April 19
You may have the best intentions while looking for work this week, but be vigilant. You never know when your boss might be an evil wizard with a pinball fetish.
April 20-May 20
A warning this week: Fairy tales may appear sweet on the outside, but sinister things always lurk within. Wishing for a happy ending may be your undoing.
May 21-June 20
It is of the utmost importance that when you make a bargain, you see it through. The universe does not like to see imbalance and will do all it can to rectify the situation immediately.
June 21-July 22
Every person has the power to decide their own fate, which sometimes we forget. It’s important to remember the responsibility and honor that we should give to this power.
July 23-August 22
There is a reason that people avoid thirteenth floors. They are spooky interdimensional places and nobody has time to deal with that nonsense in this day and age.
August 23-September 22
The creative-thinking Virgo this week is on the verge of a breakthrough. A new business venture or story may come to mind that should be pursued to the bitter end.