How to have a romantic Valentine’s day when you’re far from your love

We’ll all be here at some point: your significant other is unavoidably somewhere far from you on Valentine’s Day. While many of us spend the holiday torn between cynicism at the commercialization of love and grudging appreciation for the romantic opportunities that it presents, for those of us in long-distance relationships or those temporarily apart, Valentine’s presents a real opportunity to connect with your other half, express or reaffirm your love. 

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson said it perfectly: “If I love you, I show you I love you every day. Little things, big things.” With that in mind, here are my suggestions for how to bring the romance of the day into your hearts, if not your bodies:

Obviously, talk to them

As John Cena so wisely said, “A relationship is based on communication.” They may be hiding under a rock on the furthest corner of the earth, but when they rejoin the land of technology, seeing that you left them a sweet voicemail on Valentine’s Day will definitely pluck the heartstrings. If you want to go beyond a classic profession of love, consider reading them a passage from a book or poem that touched you, or made you think of them.

Things related to things they like

The Miz said “WWE is my first love,” and I think a lot of us can relate to that. Sometimes the thing keeping you two apart is their passion: your partner could be a traveling circus performer, a flight attendant, a Green Beret on a mission or an international spy, for all I know. Or maybe you’re the one who left to go to university, which is cool too. My point is, if you feel that your passions are pulling you apart, then find ways to enjoy and appreciate them together. The flight attendant can bring you souvenirs from abroad, the Green Beret can show you that clip of Bruce Wayne getting trapped in his burning house and say, “I would totally be able to get you out of this hypothetical situation,” and you as a university student can assure your partner that once you pay off your student debt, you will be able to afford a very nice tandem rocking chair for the two of you in retirement. Let your passions bring you closer, not tear you apart. 

Use technological advances and/or timing to bridge the gap

We all know how to Skype, FaceTime and video call, but that’s not enough for sharing experiences together. Try Netflix Party to watch shows and movies together, or really put in the time and send them an “open when” letter. “Everyone wants to win. But to truly succeed—whether it is at a sport or at your job or in life—you have to be willing to do the hard work, overcome the challenges, and make the sacrifices it takes to be the best at what you do.” –Ronda Rousey

Or wait until you’re together again to celebrate

If you don’t get a lot of time with each other, or even if you do, you should seriously consider making this an extra-special moment. If you’re of the tux-wearing disposition, put on a damn tux, because in the immortal words of The Miz, “I can’t believe people would ever wear shorts.” Put on a dress for the occasion, or regal formal wear of a different kind. Skip the cliched bouquet, try some fancy cooking or even make homemade bread. Whatever you can do to create a special moment. 

I’m going to word this very carefully…

Physical distance does not always equal a total lack of some form of physical intimacy, to be decided between the participating parties, complying with domestic and international laws governing the use of various platforms, technologies and airwaves, as well as the rules or specific platforms or corporations that provide communication services, and above all the good judgement of all parties implicated in any decisions relating to the transmission of sensitive material or information through the use of technology. If I was unclear, however: “Wake up determined. Go to bed satisfied.” – Dwayne Johnson

Bonus round: if this wasn’t gritty enough for you, one of the best ways to show love is through self-reflection. Nothing inspires more feelings of love than someone saying unprompted, “you know, I really hear you on [not washing that dish/not calling when I said I would/not using punctuation in texts], and I’m working to change this. Thank you for the ways in which you inspire me to be the best version of myself.”