Instead of practicing what they preach, male leaders in America have continued to adopt a “do as I say, not as I do” approach to leadership.
From politicians to public figures, conservative men have become the first to comment on the sanctity of heteronormative marriage, the importance of strong father figures and the supposed moral decay of single-parent households. But when it comes time for these men to put their money where their mouth is, the hypocrisy becomes impossible to ignore.
Men like Elon Musk and Donald Trump are masters of what I call the “Paternal Houdini,” a trick that allows them to procreate, disappear, then reappear when it’s time to take ownership of their children and their achievements.
Elon Musk—the CEO of Tesla and “X” formally known as Twitter—has become the symbolic figurehead of our nation. Yet, despite all his power and money, the mothers of his children seem to have a hard time getting a hold of him.
Grimes—also known as Claire Elise Boucher—found it necessary to leverage Musk’s own platform against him hoping to garner his attention regarding a health emergency involving one of their kids.
Funny thing is, one of their kids was just seen being toted around the oval office like a trophy or designer handbag, without Grimes’ knowledge. Fatherly? Not really. Manipulative and strategic? I think so.
Ashley St. Clair—the mother of Musk’s most recent child—also took to “X” with a message for Musk, calling him out for being unresponsive regarding their child, despite him asking St. Clair for more children.
In total, Musk has “fathered” 14 children with four different women. Musk is responsible for 14 fatherless children and four single parent households. Which doesn’t really scream “family values.”
Musk’s approach to fatherhood is laughable, especially when compared to someone like Nick Cannon, who successfully manages to spend quality time with each of his 12 kids.
During an iHeartRadio interview with The Breakfast Club, Cannon revealed he is at Disneyland Park at least once a month and is “probably spending $200k a year at Disney” while Musk—for all his billions—can’t even be bothered to donate his time.
When it comes to handing out parental judgment, Donald Trump is a talkative one. He is actually the first U.S. president to attend the March for Life, as noted on the White House website.
But is Trump an involved parent? I wouldn’t say so. Trump has famously bragged about never changing a diaper, and years before that his first wife noted the same behavior as well as his detached style of parenting.
In 2004, Donald Trump Jr. was quoted by a New York Magazine journalist saying, “My father is a very hardworking guy, and that’s his focus in life, so I got a lot of the paternal attention that a boy wants and needs from my grandfather.”
Despite all of Trump’s success as a business typhoon and politician, he failed at the most important job he’s ever had, being a Dad. This is not including his current role as the conductor of our country’s death spiral, which is by far the most important job he’s ever had.
But men’s ability to pass judgment on others while getting away with reprehensible things is actively harmful to our society. Young men will ask themselves, “If they can get away with it, why can’t I?”
The trouble is “it” now includes: being an absentee father, falsifying business records, shooting protesters, raiding the capitol and manipulating the government into funding your obsession with space rockets.
This trend of hypocrisy and lack of accountability begins with things like parental responsibilities but has progressed into excusing acts of violence.
This past month, Andrew Tate—who is currently facing charges of human trafficking and sexual assault—was able to be transported back to the U.S. thanks to one of Trump’s cronies.
Like other conservative men, he is a hypocrite. Tate has openly advocated for traditional values and gender roles but has profited millions from OnlyFans and exploited a known 75 women across four countries, forcing them to make pornographic content.
Just as startling, young men have started to mirror our conservative leaders’ lack of concern towards the crimes of men, convicted or not.
On Feb. 27, the Tampa Bay Young Republicans group personally welcomed Tate to Florida and formally invited him to speak to their group.
“As free speech absolutists, the Tate’s haven’t been formally convicted of any crimes and are welcome to speak to our group.” The X post continues, “We’re old enough to remember when a *”Convicted Felon.”* won the Presidency. #Freestate”
Conservative male “role models” are creating a generation of men who champion bullies and criminals—probably not because they think what those men are doing is right—but because they like feeling powerful and it has proved to work for the most powerful men in our country.
Now more than ever, within our communities, we need to speak up. Men, specifically, have to hold each other accountable and talk sense into their friends if they start regurgitating incel propaganda or seem like they may pull a “Paternal Houdini.”
As a population, we need to understand that the majority of children and their mothers don’t have the same luxuries as the Trumps, Musks and Cannons do. If the “everyday man” chooses to take after men like Trump, Musk and Tate, I am afraid of what our future will look like.
Based on research, intimate partner violence has been shown to increase during economic downturns—impacting the family unit as a whole, but largely impacting women and children. Reports have found maternal mortality rates nearly doubled between 2018 and 2021, and yet Trump still wants to establish a national abortion ban which would lead to a predicted 24% increase in maternal deaths.
Conservative politicians love to weaponize the Bible, but to set the record straight, nowhere in the Bible is abortion explicitly labeled as a sin. Do you know what is? Violating the Ten Commandments and indulging in the Seven Deadly Sins—cruelty, lust, greed, pride, wrath, gluttony and adultery. And the men I’ve mentioned? They’re guilty as hell.
Proving the conservative pro-life stance is really about control. If they truly cared about life, their concern for families would extend past the father or an unborn child. They would care if policy changes resulted in a rise of domestic violence. They would care about children’s access to food, education and healthcare. They would care about affordable housing and the single mothers who struggle to provide for their families while getting paid 75 cents for every dollar a man makes. Also, they would probably be better fathers—better people.
So, is paying child support passé? It certainly seems to be for the men who have the money and privilege to walk away from their families without consequence. But I suppose that frees up more time for them to judge us and cut funding on resources we need to survive.
