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Ten declarations for the NBA

The regular season is winding to a close. By watching lots of basketball, reading and studying what goes on out there, I’ve generated some “rules,” if you will. Basically, 10 things you need to know after watching the NBA this season. Here goes:

10. Derek Fisher takes private lessons from Bill Laimbeer on flopping. It’s not just defense, but on offense too. Fisher will fall down whether you touch him or not. You can just run by the guy and he’ll yell and fall. The sad part is that the refs fall for it way too often. Watch for more of this come playoff time.

9. Utah and L.A. are the two most widely hated sports teams by Oregonians. If the Blazers lose on any given night then Blazer fans are not happy. But if either the Lakers or the Jazz lose on the same night, it really isn’t so bad. There is this rivalry and hatred by Blazer fans for Shaq, Kobe, Stockton and Malone – and let’s not forget about Rick Fox.

8. The Bulls vs. Knicks is just not what is used to be. Remember the good old days when the big Sunday game was Chicago vs. New York? Gosh that was great, too bad neither of these teams can even make the playoffs any more.

7. The officials have way too much control and power over what goes on in games. These are supposed to be the best officials in the business and time and again they butcher the easiest calls. For some reason they change rules around according to which players are playing that night. I hope it’s not just me; this seems fishy.

6. Breaking 100 points shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is now. Well apparently defense is what wins games so why would teams break 100 points any more? Coaches and players have been trying to put clamps on offensive teams for more than six seasons now. There are guys out there who just play for their defense and rebounding (Ben Wallace, Mutombo).

5. The All-star teams should be made up of the 12 best players from the East and West, not by their positions. The reason great players like Stackhouse, Allen Houston and Marbury don’t make it is because players of different positions take precedence even though they don’t deserve to be there.

4. The dunk contest seems to get worse every year. It doesn’t help when the best dunkers around decline invites year in and year out. Also, it never hurts to be creative. There are dunks that these guys can do. They just don’t try. They keep thinking about windmills and going through the legs. Fellas, how about you think of something on your own like VC did a couple years back. He tore it up with his own stuff.

3. The Clippers are fun to watch; they’re the best show in L.A. It’s really too bad they won’t make the postseason. It’s all right because they’re young and they have lots of potential. Let’s see if they can mix in some more victories next season with those wicked crossovers and post-play celebrations.

2. Oscar Robertson once averaged a triple-double for a whole season. Jason Kidd tops the league in triple-doubles this year with eight. It isn’t easy to do, but let’s all hand it to Oscar for averaging these numbers for a whole season. I can’t even imagine.

1. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Don’t compare Kobe to Jordan. No player can compare to the best player the world has ever seen. There I said it. Jordan is the man. I don’t care what people say about his comeback. He was bored, so he came back to the NBA to average 22.9 points per game, along with 5.2 assists and 5.7 rebounds at the age of 39. I’m clapping, and I know all the other true basketball fans are too.