This is it. The last send off. The last bit of writing done hurriedly at five in the morning, just barely making it in on time, passing under the deadline with a few scant inches or milliseconds left.
One less excuse to drink that extra cup of coffee and smoke that extra cigarette while trying to come up with something to say or rail against and all the while trying to keep it honest, which is a lot more difficult than this writer could of ever guessed. To actually have something poignant to say every week yet not have it be self-justification or ego stroking, to really try to take a chance, a dare, challenge, to open one’s self up to a large group of people knowing that there will be ridicule and anger as payment for doing so.
However, this isn’t just a goodbye to the Vanguard; it’s a goodbye to Portland State University as well, my home for the last four years.
That last and final safe haven before being pushed out into the world of being a true adult, all grown up. Time to get a full time job, one of the reasons for school in the first place, and close the chapter on this part of my life. No more hate mail, or praise mail (Actually did get a couple of those!).
No more Preacher Dan, no more ASPSU, no more anonymous hate mongers to make fun of in a public forum. No more free shows in the Park Blocks.
And it’s not like after graduation you can just hang like in the good ol’ days you know? Because hanging out at your old haunts as if you were a student when you’re actually not is kinda creepy. Some lines eventually have to be crossed in life, and you can’t go back afterward.
What am I doing here? Sorta rambling all over the place. I guess what I’m trying to do here is let go. At 28, it really is time to start thinking about a career and school as a career doesn’t’ count.
Also, at six years, one tends to get a little burned out on the education track. But it’s hard, harder than I thought it would be, to let go. I’ve been having too much fun. OK, damn it! Let’s wrap it up.
Thank you friends, teachers, mentors, true believers, janitors and grounds maintenance (you know who you are), loyal readers and those readers who responded by writing in and giving their two cents on what ever the topic was that moved them. ESPECIALLY those who responded, regardless if your response was praise or defamation, you are the best.
And a HUGE thanks also to the staff and crew at the Vanguard, it’s been great, thanks guys.
Also here’s to absent friends, those who didn’t make it, or who simply lost their way. Good luck to everyone in his or her endeavors and adventures.
Good luck to all of you graduating this year.
Good luck to all who dream to be a better person and then work in one fashion or another to achieve that goal.
And, finally … goodbye.