The “yep, still at home” edition

The worst part of this whole quarantine, I think, is the fact you have to stare at all these massive projects in your residence that you’d totally do if you had the time, energy and equipment. Well, you’ve got the time! The energy and equipment, on the other hand…? Ehhh. Anyway…

Have you heard all those news stories about the different ways in which your pet can get sick from COVID-19? In North Carolina, the latest pawtient zero is a pug named Winston, and unfortunately for owners of this breed, their respiratory issues mean they’re more likely to be both susceptible and harmed by the virus. This kind of alert is nothing new to pug owners, with warnings about their health issues arising as soon as they’re born.

But did you know that pugs didn’t have these issues before? Selective breeding of the little sniffle-muffin has shortened their muzzle and made them less and less capable of breathing without sounding like a Dodge Dart climbing a hill. For pug owners, pain is apparently beautiful.

Anyway, have you heard about the whole lack of rain in Oregon thing? We’re headed for a deepening drought, which means come July there might be forest fires. Predictions by the National Weather Service and the National Interagency Fire Center have us looking at a “significant risk” for them, which means it’s time to prepare now. Oh wait, you already have your face masks. Well, either way, it might be bad this year.

Were you aware of the latest efforts to circumvent Oregon Governor Kate Brown’s stay-at-home order? Apparently, one version of the law governing emergency orders is time-limited in the duration of these orders and Brown’s run up against the clock. At least one legal expert agrees it might be out of time. Like dogs trying to get let out into a hurricane, opponents of sheltering in place are demanding Brown remember the American Revolution’s cries of life, liberty and the pursuit of half-priced mugarita Mondays at the nearest lotto game room.

Have you been told about the latest in smut in Portland? Yes, it’s true, the Oregon Theater has been sold. Closing in March after years of sex and gallons of disinfectant a day, the theater, its twitter account using the word “cocks” more often than the University of South Carolina’s athletics department, is now owned by a developer who is happily married, thank you very much. The theater’s spotty cleaning record will be corrected and the interior apparently power-washed.

Finally, May is a month of change, growth and new life. It’s also the start of a season of sunny, lovely weather that’s perfect for trips outdoors. Except you can’t go outside, technically. That being the case, you might want to consider a virtual trip around the world. For starters, museums like the Louvre and the British Museum have copious resources for touring online from the safety of your home. The American Museum of Natural History and the San Diego Zoo offer a look at the natural world, while the Virtual Astronomical Observatory gives you a glimpse of worlds beyond. Lastly, the Brooklyn Cat Café has multiple cameras live right now.