Neon and Nude

Portland may not be as vividly lit or famously flamboyant as the Las Vegas Strip neon lights, but there’s no shortage of strip clubs to satiate the sensible and the strange.

Still regarded as the “Strip Club Capital of the World,” Portland holds the prestigious title amongst numerous publications—we’ve set the proverbial bar pretty high here. Saunter through downtown and you’ll find yourself with plenty of clubs for the curious connoisseur of tatas and tallywackers. With a whopping 54 clubs, Portland has enough love for everyone, especially those joining the lonely hearts club this Valentine’s Day. 

There’s no shortage of history in regard to Portland strip clubs, either. There is the longstanding and well-known rivalry between the vegan and steak strip clubs Casa Diablo and Acropolis, respectively, whose feud spans 12 years all the way back to 2007, near the end of the Bush-era—though I’m told that the vintage, vibrant and voluminous staple of 70s porn has made a considerable comeback.

Then there’s Mary’s Club, seemingly soaking in the grimy scraps of withered leaves about the feet of the poetically and perennially soaking wet Portlandian soul, who opened their doors in 1954.  

At the forefront of progressiveness and openness, Portland has a bit of everything for everyone. The LGBTQ+ community, in particular, has options to galvanize the need for gyrations and the allure and seduction of dance that one might struggle to find elsewhere.

In any case, the struggle to find love this Valentine’s Day won’t be nearly as hard, or rough, as a search for a seedy little place to sit down with a drink to soak in some neon illuminated nude bodies.