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As quarter advances, so do complaints

we all have them, and some of us are better at airing them than others. The “Do You Like It?” desk is currently in possession of dozens, and herein will, in a mannerly fashion, put some on paper in the hope of absolving ourselves of them.

To the drunk young women in the library last week:
As we spend well over 10 hours per week in the Branford P. Millar Library, we are a bit nonplussed by those who arrive drunk and giggle away hours of other’s valuable study time. We understand the feeling of being young and free and out of the grasp of parents, but please, grow up! When we were younger, pizza parlors and other trashier public spaces saw us at our sauced-up worst – we were loath to enter the library soused.

To the man who has a snoring problem:
We, along with probably a hundred other library patrons, had the occasion to realize why your mother kicked you out of the house. It was Wednesday, and you slept in one of the luxurious chairs facing the windows on the third floor. No it wasn’t an earthquake, it was your snore rattling the windows. You were there at 3 p.m. You were still there at 11.

I would like to write a personal ad to you, something along the lines of, “I looked up your nostrils and the earth shook as you did your magic without a second thought. You, me, coffee?”

For once the typically jarring announcement of the library’s imminent closure (“Your attention please . . . “) could be taken as a godsend, as it compelled you to put on your shoes, don your coat, curse as loudly as you snored and make your way to the stairs.

There are many miscellaneous library complaints. The homeless and not-so-homeless men who tie up “20-minute time limit” research computers for hours on end while they play virtual chess. The mentally ill manwho noisily rifles through newspaper pages looking for some article that does not exist. The reserve book that is not checked out, not in general circulation and not at the Reserve Desk.

The library is usually an OK place to be, just don’t try and get any work done on the west wall during the hours of 2 to 5 p.m. when the football team is at it with all their hand claps, woo-hoos and hitting antics. The well-funded athletic department would do us all a favor by installing a wall at the east end of the practice field, to shield the library from so much obnoxious testosterone-fueled noise.

Complaints elsewhere in the PSU realm? Well, the information tech peopleseem to have a problem keeping the Web server lines up and free during the evening hours. More often than not, trying to connect to the PSU server between the hours of four and nine will get nothing more than a busy signal. We imagine thousands of instant messengers and online porn freaks tie up the lines as we try to e-mail an editor with the week’s hack job. If there is a legitimate reason for this please let us know (We only waste our breath because this is what they pay us to do).

And we can only complain about the Aramark Corporation so much without betraying a pro-labor leftist stance, so we will simply call them swine for charging a buck-fifty for a catered pitcher of water. No wonder our student fees are so high.

It seems our list has fallen a few quips short of an all-out gripe session. Perhaps next week, when “Do You Like It?” returns, we will present a concise, well-reasoned argument, with which we may win your hearts and minds.

Don’t hold your breath.