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Haiku Horoscopes

Haiku is an ancient form of Japanese poetry. Traditional haiku are five syllables in the first line, seven in the second and five in the last. Ms. Luna prefers to make her divinations through haiku and means no disrespect to the art of haiku. She would also like you to know that these horoscopes are for entertainment purposes only.

Aries March 21-April 20
It got cold outside.

It’s a time for hats and gloves.

And Kleenexes too.

Taurus April 21-May 20
Health Center busy.

Try not to get sick this week.

Nurses will help though.

Gemini May 21-June 21
Halloween here soon.

Don’t buy a crappy outfit.

Be original.

Cancer June 22-July 22
Eat too much candy,

Your stomach hurts and your teethWill rot and fall out.

Leo July 23-August 22
Halloween party?

Get a costume that wont stain.

Toga is an idea.

Virgo August 23-September 22
Halloween is Weds.

Is it a good idea,

Party on school night?

Libra September 23-October 23
Miss Luna predicts:

You will win best costume prize

Don’t dress like Nixon!

Scorpio October 24-November 21
Fall is apple time.

Eat lots of apples for health.

Pepto for the runs.

Sagittarius November22-December 21
For a good fortune,

Bring Luna lots of candy.

Chocolate is best.

Capricorn December 22-January 20
Be nice to small kids.

It’s hard enough being small.

Do not scare them now.

Aquarius January 21-February 19
Pumpkin bashing may

Be fun when you’re really drunk,

But it makes kids cry.

Pisces February 20-March 20
Carefully plan day.

Boss will be happy person,

Turn things in on time.