Aries
March 21-April 19
One thing you have to admire about Lord Zedd was his tenacity. No matter his failures, he always approached destroying the Power Rangers with fervor.
Taurus
April 20-May 20
Do you remember that episode of Boy Meets World where Mr. Feeny mic drops on the kids and walks out of the room? You’ll need that kind of conviction this week.
Gemini
May 21-June 20
The intro for Beakman’s World had a couple of penguins from the Henson Company goofing around. Take a leaf from their book this week and enjoy some joie de vivre.
Cancer
June 21-July 22
One hundred percent of these horoscopes are pop culture references this week, and yours is no different. Be one with the Doogie Howser, child medical genius.
Leo
July 23-August 22
Do you remember the words to “Conjunction Junction,” Leo? Because you might want to have a refresher before you start working on that essay.
Virgo
August 23-September 22
The most underrated season finale in the Whedonverse is the one featuring Jasmine from Angel. She might have been a horrifying person-eating alien, but she really did just want to bring us peace.
Libra
September 23-October 22
Do you ever think of the irony of the guy who played Jacob on Lost—the white smoke monster—later played Lucifer on Supernatural and totally bugged Sam into the crazy house?
Scorpio
October 23-November 21
It seems odd to me that no one else except for Darkwing Duck ever explored the Disney Negaverse. That really was a wasted opportunity. Maybe in Kingdom Hearts 4, right?
Sagittarius
November 22-December 21
You used to watch that show Doug, didn’t you, Sagi? Of course you did. Do you realize you’ve gone from being a Doug to being a Roger in regards to someone in your life? Time to apologize.
Capricorn
December 22-January 19
Don’t think about how creepy it is that Santa and Dennis Rodman broke into a mall once in the 1990s to steal shoes, specifically Reeboks, from a Foot Locker.
Aquarius
January 20-February 18
Would you have the initiative to make something this week, Aqui? I’ve been thinking about how Slenderman went from joke to reality and made a ton of money. You could do it too.
Pisces
February 20-March 19
Does it ever bother you that no one in Duckburg wore pants but most of the women wore skirts? And what was up with Gizmoduck? Does a robot superhero in Duckburg still need to be duck-themed if one of the main villains is a trio of weasel brothers?
