PSU Vanguard Shield Icon

Joel Silverstein

Spring break: a college kid’s right to strip down and dance naked in the face of responsibility. A chance to poison yourself with alcohol, and have sex with several people you’ve never met before. Yes, several. A chance to visit your family …

“Dude, what about all of those gorgeous women ; wet T-shirt contests, TEQUILA!” No thanks guys, I haven’t seen my 2-year-old nephew in a few months; he talks in full sentences now. Besides, where are all of you getting the money for these extravagant, week long booby shakin’, cocktail makin’ orgies?

“Dude, I worked all summer for this. I couldn’t bear another year watching kids on MTV get naked and not be there! My dad helped me out a little as well.”

A little? Keep telling yourself that. While you blow your wad (pun intended) on plane tickets, and drinks for Lulu, I’ll be kicking back on that comfortable recliner in the loft of my parent’s house, enjoying the marvels of digital cable. (Where else can you see the Sundance channel?) I’ll be spending a night in Brooklyn, with a friend I haven’t seen in about a year, after a night of drinking the finest stout in the city, at McSorley’s. I’ll be savoring the suckling sweet sausage and peppers my mom makes. You know that sounds good. More importantly, I’ll get to relax and spend time with the people I love.

When I first decided to come out west; the undiscovered land of chance and potent marijuana, I was skeptical of an incurring homesickness. But, with the help of my dad, I’ve been able to make the plane ride home just as often as I would have had I been on the east coast. Being out here, I’ve realized the importance of staying connected with the important people in my life.

“Dude, what’s more important than being hammered? HAHA”

Listen Stifler, you need to take a muscle relaxer, and chill the ef out. While you’re basking in the disappointment of your “fun in the sun”, I’ll be spending time with the real people in my life. The people that have known me for more than 10 minutes; for more than 10 years. And I’m guaranteed a good time.

But hey, let me know how it goes with Lulu, and take some pictures for me. Spend all your money in Mexico. And while you’re there, take notice of the amount of consumption and violence that takes place in a weeks time. Don’t feel bad, that’s what every warm blooded American kid is doing this spring break. That makes it OK, right?